What your Higher Needs are Costing you

We all like to think we make rational decisions with our money. Budget the essentials, save what we can, and spend responsibly on wants.

But some of our spending isn’t really about wants at all—it’s about meeting real psychological needs.

According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs we have physiological, safety, love & belonging, esteem, and self-actualization NEEDS. And we will spend on all of these needs, even the higher level needs, whether or not it actually brings us the esteem or belonging we crave.

Let’s break it down and, more importantly, figure out how to meet these needs in a way that actually works for you without draining your bank account.

⬆️ The Three Higher Needs That Influence Your Spending  

Once we’ve met our basic needs of food, shelter, security (at least in part) we start seeking fulfillment in the 3 higher areas.

1. Love and Belongingness: Through friendships and community.

• How we spend: Picking up the tab to feel included or valuable, buying expensive gifts to impress, saying yes to every social event even when we don’t have the budget for it.

2. Esteem: Feeling accomplished, respected, and confident.

• How we spend: Trendy clothes, home upgrades, IG worthy vacations—not always because we love them, but because they send a status signal or make us feel temporarily worthy. 

3. Self-Actualization: Living to our fullest potential.

• How we spend: Impulsive travel, pricey hobbies, splurging on things that make us feel spontaneous or inspired.

The problem is that when we don’t consciously recognize these as real needs, we end up spending reactively instead of intentionally. And that can cost us big.

📋 How to Meet These Needs Without Wrecking Your Budget

This isn’t about cutting spending in these areas—it’s about aligning your spending with what actually fulfills you.

1. Figure Out What Really Meets Your Need. 🤔 Does picking up the check actually make you feel more connected to your friends, or would planning a free game night do the trick? Does buying a new outfit make you feel more confident long-term, or is there a deeper way to build self-esteem like engaging in an activity you’re good at? Experiment and observe what actually makes you feel fulfilled.

2. Consider Your Season of Life. ☀️ Needs change based on your phase of life. A recent grad’s spending towards their need of belonging might look like nights out, while a parent’s might be investing in family experiences. Align your spending with what truly matters to you right now and actually meets your higher needs.

3. Create a Dopamine Hit List. 📝 We often spend because we’re chasing that feel-good dopamine rush. Instead, build a go-to list of free or low-cost alternatives that give you the same boost.

• Love learning? Instead of buying new books, check out library apps or free trials for digital resources.

• Craving adventure? Try local travel—exploring historic sites or taking a staycation can scratch the travel itch for less.

• Need a confidence boost? Swap a shopping spree for an activity that builds self-esteem, like working on a skill, moving your body, or dressing up in what you already own.

The Bottom Line: You’re going to spend in these areas—because these are real needs, not just wants. The goal is to spend in ways that actually meet the need rather than just throwing money at the feeling.

Warmly,
Misti

⭐️⭐️ P.S. Want to share all this goodness with your friends AND earn cool Frugal Friends merch?

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